Another Lonely Day
by Krac
Summary: Some Ben Harper inspired heartbreak from our favorite Southerners. Possible one shot or two shot. Part two from Remy's POV up Boys and Ghouls...
1. Another Lonely Day

To All my normal readers who wish I'd write more...Here's a Ben Harper shaped slice of depression for you.

Disclaimer - I do not own any of the characters contained within...those are the rights of Stan Lee and Marvel...and I am a fool to their brilliance. 

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"I love you."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she rushed the words out-she almost didn't want to think about the fact that she was saying those words now. Even uttered softly with hopes he wouldn't hear them they cut across her heart and caused her to tighten her hands into fists. This wasn't the time to break down-she had to do this-she was stronger than him making it her cross to bear.

That didn't mean that this wasn't going to break Rogue's heart-she knew better than to expect him to make it easy on her. Nothing about Remy Lebeau had been easy for Rogue. 

That was the problem.

"Je t'aime aussi, Chere." He replied just as quietly and it drove Rogue's eyes open so that she could measure his sincerity.

Rogue had always been good at that-barring a few notable exceptions-being able to gauge people. It was part of what made her a good fighter; along with her natural scrappiness as Logan would say if asked. She'd always been at a loss with him though, from the moment Gambit had stepped around the corner and nearly blown her hand off. No matter how hard she struggled Rogue would always find herself pulled into the tarry darkness of his eyes-lulled by the embers. Her cause was as lost as that of the ancient creature's that had created today's oil. Rogue had sunk deeply for Remy…in the blink of an eye.

Only a fool would have expected things between them to be easy-she couldn't touch and he had libido to spare. That was why when she'd decided to take the risk on him; that maybe being untouchable didn't mean being lonely-Rogue had thrown herself into things. She'd tried to be patient as he worked through the guilt that came with some of his more unpleasant actions while employed not only by his family's Thieves Guild but by Magneto as well. 

She'd been there herself-the self loathing and guilt were dear old friends to Rogue long before her mutant power had imprisoned her inside her body. There were enough memories of her childhood that had lingered around the edges of her mind-an angry man that had told her often it was her fault her mother had died. It was one of those memories that had faded so much around the edges that Rogue half felt that she had dreamed it; no parent could be that cruel and unloving towards their own young child. Even with her experience of Mystique as a mother Rogue couldn't believe that ill of someone. The fact was that she saw so much of herself reflected in Remy's red and black eyes that Rogue couldn't help but want to show him the glimmer of hope she'd found at Xavier's.

The loner in her had understood when he'd needed to be alone to deal with his demons. She'd respected it and had hoped that he knew her ear was available to him when the time came that he could talk about it. It was the same patient approach that Logan had taken in getting Rogue to open up and she'd recognized that the application to Remy would probably work best. After all there was plenty of time when they were together and Remy would shower her with attention and affection. He'd made Rogue happy.

So happy that at first she didn't notice him slipping away-letting the weight of his past crush him. That was when things soured-he was cross, short tempered, and would avoid Rogue like she had the plague. When cornered about it he'd only offered that he didn't want to lash out at her. Given the fights Remy'd been picking with Scott, Logan-hell even Kurt-Rogue had been willing to accept that. Then she'd accepted it when he'd left the Mansion and into his own place in town. 

From that moment on she'd seen less and less of him as Remy imploded emotionally-he'd cut her out. It hurt like hell. Seeing him withdraw from her-blaming herself for it-that some how this was her fault. Rogue had struggled with it now for months taking several hits to her already fragile self esteem; she'd emerged dented but resolved. Biting her lip to strengthen herself Rogue faced Remy.

She could feel the regret and sadness that held her in it's crushing grip, "Ah love you Remy…but if you're ever going to respect me Ah need to love myself more."

Digging her nails into her palms even through the leather of her gloves Rogue forced herself to meet his eyes. It took all of her strength to hold herself together-every part of her being wanted to just swallow his distance and accept it. Even having him deny her emotionally had to be better than living without him. Rogue's jaw clenched dangerously as she drew herself back under control-she would do this or die trying. 

Rogue met Remy's eyes and for once they were just eyes. For the first time in their crazy relationship she could meet his eyes and they had no power over her. It made Rogue sad to see a glimmer of unshed tears making the black glossier but she knew she was doing the right thing. The smile that lifted Rogue's severe face was wistful and mildly forced, "Good luck Remy-Ah hope one day you can be happy again. I really do."

The last words were delivered in profile as Rogue began the difficult task of lifting one foot in front of the other. Her boots felt heavier than normal and it made Rogue slow her pace but she kept it even. 

Left. Right. Left. Right. 

He didn't call out to her and Rogue didn't turn around to see if he watched her as she walked away. It was a silent way of saying that this was understood-by both of them. Sometimes love alone couldn't be enough to keep two people together and this was one of those times. As she moved each step got lighter; the weight of it all slipping away from her. 

It wasn't until she heard a rustle in the bushes to her right that Rogue realized her face was wet from tears. Wiping at her face with her gloved fingers Rogue swore as her adopted brother and roommate stumbled free of the greenery with faces wreathed in apologetic frowns. Kitty seemed to be the more embarrassed of the pair and Rogue could tell from the way Kurt's tail was swishing he was mad, "Rogue…do you vant us to…"

"No," her voice was sad but firm, "Let him go…I'm okay."

It wasn't the truth-inside Rogue was dying. She'd seen a part of Remy wither when she'd turned away and it hurt her more deeply than anything he could have said. But for now Rogue was going to lie to everyone-including herself-until the day that she'd repeat the words and mean them. 

Rogue hoped that'd be soon.


	2. You Were Always On My Mind

Muhahaha! I is back! In true Krac style here's Remy's side of things. Much thanks to Ishy, thegambit23 and allyg1990 for their reviews this is for you guys. This little piece is best accompanied by Cat Power's 'Good Woman' (the yearning to be more for your lover is perfect for Remy) and Willy Nelson's "You Were Always On My Mind".

As always I don't own the characters and hope to hell no one from Stan Lee's or Marvel's camp tries to sue.

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There was a sort of mild masochism about being as proud of her as he was the moment she turned away from him and began to walk out of his life. Remy Lebeau had never been the sort of guy to do things by the book-especially not when it had come to his courtship of Rogue. They'd bucked every rule they possibly could have-his profession, Logan, his family, Mystique, Logan, her powers…but in the end it had been Remy's fault she was leaving him one slow step at a time.

A hallow ache settled into his chest a bit more easily than it had previously been worn; this day had been a long time coming and Remy had known it. He'd eagerly awaited it like a man looking for parole; not for his freedom but hers. Rogue would never have let things end unless she ended it herself and he'd known it. That didn't mean that it'd been easy for him to see the hurt and disappointment on her face every time he'd pull away to spend more time alone.

Remy had cut his teeth on those first small hurts that he had doled out as easily as cards, slowly building up his tolerance until Rogue took care of the inevitable. Until she would do them both a favor and walk away; he could stand her hating him now if it meant she'd be happier one day. That would be when she'd appreciate what an act of love it had been for Remy to break her heart early instead of waiting for his natural flair with romantic entanglements to make a bigger mess of things.

The face of another palely beautiful woman-a true brunette flashed Remy's mind, of the demons that had been dragging him down since he had re-entered his father's service. For Genny he would make sure that loving him didn't hurt Rogue-it was the least he could do for her memory after the way he'd manipulated the French girl. Not that he could tell Rogue that-he couldn't bear to see reflected in her eyes the disgust and distaste he felt on the rare occasions Remy looked in the mirror. There was more than one reason for his now trademark five o'clock shadow.

Eyes burning traitorously Remy shouldered the light bag of essential belongings he'd packed up in preparation for hitting the road. He didn't know what he was going to do-he couldn't be a Thief anymore-not the way his father wanted and there was no way he could be an X-Man and stay here rubbing Rogue's heart raw. It left precious few options and that was strangely liberating to Remy-it also meant no expectations would be placed on him by anyone about anything. Except himself.

Warmed by the idea of spending some time learning how to be his own man-the type of man that could come back here one day and be worthy of Rogue's heart. The type of guy Remy Lebeau desperately wished he could be but feared the shoes might be too big to fill even for him. He trusted the young spitfire to make sure that any man that tried to fit into them worked for every inch and a part of Remy relished the idea of coming back one day and winning her back. She'd always been more challenge than he could resist.

A bare scrape of movement caught Remy's attention and had him reaching for his bo staff hidden deep in his pocket. Two cards were out and charged as Wolverine stepped out of the scrub and towards Remy with a cigar in hand. The scruffy Canuck lifted an eyebrow at the readied cards, "Got a light?"

Nodding Remy pulled his Zippo from his pocket and tossed it to the other man after having pulled the charge from the cards back into his body. The Cajun smirked remembering how Rogue had hounded him into quitting smoking apparently she had yet to break the mighty Logan, "'Dose t'ings will kill ya _mon ami_."

"Since when are you a concerned member of the American Lung Association bub?" the reply was dry as the ageless man's dark eyes flicked to Remy's bag and red lined eyes, "You're leaving then?"

Concerned by the lack of claws trying to skin him alive Remy blinked then studied the other man carefully, "Normally when someone act dis outta character Gambit looks for Mystique…_Mais je penses_ she'd show a bit more 'temper' with me just having broken de Rogue's _ceour._ "

"You'd think so wouldn't you?" Logan took a deep puff of his cigar before tossing the lighter back to Remy to pocket-underneath his facial hair his face was nearly as surprised as the young Cajuns', "I've wanted to a few times but it's pretty easy to see what you were doing…letting her build up the strength to brush you off herself."

Remy's strangely coloured eyes sunk to the ground-had he really been that transparent in his actions? Did Rogue know that he had forced her hand into breaking up with him? "I would have preferred her avoiding this all together…but it's a lesson she needed to learn. It's classy of you to think of what she'll come across in the future and to leave her prepared."

The words stung just a little bit with their harsh truth-no Rogue would not make the same mistakes in her next relationship as she had with Remy. She wouldn't let another man pull her down like this again without flashing back to the pain and nipping it in the bud. She would be stronger one day because of him. Instead of speaking he nodded once to Wolverine and made to leave.

"I'll keep an eye on her while yer gone," The older man started his posture a little more awkward than normal, "Get your shit together son and you might just be able to come back and reclaim her."

Remy quirked an eyebrow it was the closest the first X-Man had ever come to approving or accepting the Cajun. "Dat so? Mebbe it be best to stay away…Rem…Ah ain't the type of man she deserves."

Seconds ticked by in the darkness, as Remy waited for Logan's reply-the intensity of the moment seemed to make both of the loners nervous. It wasn't often that Logan acted the father figure to anyone who had a Y chromosome or whose last name was Lebeau. "The way I figure it it Gumbo…that's why the two of you are made for each other. She'll inspire you to be more than the low life punk you are. A man needs something to work towards-to believe in. Remember that while you're out there and call if you need anything-I won't mention it to anyone else if you call me."

Numbed by shock Remy nodded noticing that Logan didn't tell him how to contact him-no asking for Wolverine's help wouldn't be that easy. The nod became a brief bow before Remy forced himself off into the shadows-if he didn't leave now he'd loose his nerve.

Puffing on his cigar Logan listened to Remy run away-the venerable's hand strayed into his pocket. His fingers brushed against the cold chain before he was able to pull out the beat up old medallion-the one thing of a personal nature other than his dog tags he'd been left of his past. Logan's calloused thumb moved across the faded image of St. Jude-a silent prayer that his favorite lost causes might just figure it all out one day.


End file.
